The Vulgar Comparative Metaphor FAQ

Welcome to the FAQ for Vulgar Comparative Metaphors!
Thanks to all those who contributed! Especially to the lads and lassies at alt.tasteless.jokes. Year after year, you deliver!	Special thanks go out to the staff at the OED and Merriam Webster for their assistance. I am grateful for the invaluable insights provided by the folks at alt.folklore.urban and alt.usage.english.	This article is Copyright 1998. It may be freely redistributed in its entirety provided that this copyright notice is not removed.
Note: This article deals with, and contains vulgar expressions. It is intended as a vehicle to promote academic inquiry into the linguistic heritage of the English language. Every attempt has been made to treat this subject with professionalism and academic curiosity. Regrettably however, some may find the content of this article objectionable. Accordingly, if you are not a member of an accredited academic community engaged in linguistic or folklore research, please do not read further.	Disclaimer: assume that everything in this FAQ is utter fallacy.	Corrections and contributions always welcome.

Frequently Asked Questions
What are similes and metaphors?	A simile is a figurative construct where two distinctly different things are compared and linked with the words "like", or "as". Consider the phrase "...ice came floating past...as green as emerald..." (Coleridge, TROTAM). This is a simile, it contains an explicit comparison. If Coleridge had written, "...green emeralds came floating past..." it would be a metaphor because there was no explicit mention of ice. Because a metaphor involves an implicit comparison, it is actually an elliptical form of simile.
What are the components of metaphors and similes?	Metaphors and similes have two parts: A "tenor", the subject of the figure; and a "vehicle", the term of the metaphor. An implicit part, which expresses the underlying analogy, is called the "grounds". Consider, "...Thy pouting breasts, like kettle-drums of brass beat everlasting loud alarms of joy, As bright as brass they are, and oh! as hard..." (Fielding, TTTG). The tenor is "breasts"; the vehicles are "kettle-drums", "brass", and "hard". The grounds of this simile are probably the shape of a kettle drum.
May I use those terms with confidence?	Yes. However, Leech (A Linguistic Guide to English Poetry, 1969) substituted "topic" for "tenor". Some literary critics will use this term instead.
Do similes and metaphors have a "pedigree"?	A documentation of comparative expressions was written in 1516 (Erasmus, Liber Parabolarum). The first English collection of similes was published in 1600 (Cawdrey, A Treasurie or Storehouse of Similes). The next noteworthy treatment came in 1658 (Spencer, Things Old and New). The senior authority for vulgarity in the English language seems to be "A Dictionary of Buckish Slang, University Wit, and Pickpocket Eloquence", published in 1785. This work was republished in 1811 under the title "Lexicon Balatronicum". A quotation from this work follows... "Bill at Sight. To pay a bill at sight; to be ready at all times for the venereal act".
What is a "Vulgar Comparative Metaphor"?	The tenor of a "Vulgar Comparative Metaphor", hereafter called "VCM" is an adjective in its comparative form (e.g., "sharper", "thinner", "stronger"). The vehicle contains ribald, lewd or obscene content. VCMs belong to the family of "proverbial comparisons".
What about other languages?	Similes and metaphors exist in all major languages in some form or another. The English speaker, however, is given a unique advantage: the ability to draw upon Germanic, Scandinavian, and Latin roots. Furthermore, speakers who found these opportunities insufficient have drawn in words from the American Indians, the Asian Indians, the Aborigines, the Chinese, and the Eskimos. Vulgarity should not be confused with profanity or blasphemy. Linguists have consistently informed me that the speaker of Arabic can resort to the deepest profanity, and the Turks can provide blasphemy to turn your blood cold. Blasphemy and profanity usually involve oaths against something sacred; vulgarity, on the other hand, usually involves a reference to a body part or function. English offers the richest body of vulgar expressions. This includes not just the VCM, but also its siblings (to name a few: vulgar similes, the vulgar military marching cadence, the vulgar double entendre, and the oftentimes-brilliant vulgar limerick).
How many VCMs are there?	Who knows? For working purposes, I estimate that 20th century English in its entirety has about 3,000 - 4,500 proverbial comparisons in mainstream usage. Of these, perhaps 500 - 1,000 are vulgar. All things considered, this is an astonishing percentage.
Why a FAQ?	VCMs are a part of our linguistic tradition, but let's start with a socially acceptable proverbial comparison. Consider the common phrase, "Deader than a door-nail". An inanimate object, "door-nail", is used as the vehicle to describe a state of "deadness". Does it make sense? Not really, because a door-nail is never alive to begin with. And "dead" is an absolute state, not subject to comparative measures. This enduring simile entered the language about 650 years ago as something like, "Dom as a dore-nayle" (as in "mute"; and a "dore-nayle" was the piece of metal on a door that the doorknocker hit. Also note how Charles Dickens shrewdly used this imagery in "A Christmas Carol" to depict the haunt of Jacob Marley). Anyway, "dumb as a door-nail" makes sense because the imagery is apt. But more importantly, it pleases English speakers because it contains "alliteration". Alliteration means the repetition of consonant sounds like, "dumb...door". When alliteration cannot be gained, English speakers will unconsciously opt for "assonance". Assonance is the repetition of vowel sounds, as in "witch's tit". More about "witch's tit" later... And finally, the expression contains what literary types call a "poetic meter". This has to do with the emphasis in how the words are pronounced. The word, "Outfielder" for example, is a dactyl because it contains three syllables and the first syllable is stressed. Here are some more dactyls: "deader than", "colder than", "deeper than", and "hotter than". For the moment, consider that enduring proverbial expressions of the comparative kind require [1] either alliteration or assonance; and [2] a concise metrical form, which generally includes a dactyl. Armed with these vital ingredients, let's return to the year 1350 and "Dom as a dore-nayle"... Over the years it has undergone changes: "dumb as", "deaf as", "dour as", and finally "dead as". The simile has remained true to the alliteration, but has lost the relationship between tenor and vehicle. In other words, the grounds of the simile have disappeared. Why? Perhaps because English speakers impose a set of rigid (albeit unconscious) set of rules in how they use and evolve proverbial expressions. Vulgar expressions are no exception to this unconscious behavior. While it may seem counterintuitive to think that a dirt-grit, home-boy, pot-bellied redneck uttering the phrase, "I'm hornier than a three-balled tomcat", is conforming to a severely imposed metrical and syntactical structure that has evolved over the course of 900 years, it is nonetheless the case. Indeed, the rules governing spoken vulgarity are the oldest and most refined in the English language. Consider that Henry I, the son of William the Conqueror, established the first penalty fines for the use of swearing and spoken vulgarity. This would indicate that swearing and vulgarity were already established in the 11th century. Because an expression is vulgar (explicit, in poor taste, crude, or in some other way offensive) does not mean that it is exempt from rules. Naturally, these are quite separate from notions of what civilized people regard as good taste or other such commonly shared notions. But they are rules nonetheless. Let's look at something a bit more modern, "cold as a well digger's ass"... This VCM entered the language in about 1902 and enjoys nearly a century of mainstream usage. It is furthermore interesting because it is the senior mainstream VCM that employs technology (i.e., well digging) as the vehicle. Why not "cold as a well digger's feet"? What is it about a well digger's ass that is colder than any other part of his/her body? Nothing. "Ass" is needed in order to make the expression vulgar. The dactylic foot is there, but neither alliteration, nor assonance. Will the expression endure? How many well-diggers have you met? Probably not a great number, because the profession is dying out (the occupational hazard associated with having a cold ass, I'll wager). After another half-century or so, the profession may be gone entirely, and all we will have left is the simile, "cold as a well-digger's ass". Three or four centuries after that, people will have forgotten what well-diggers actually did (just like today, not many people know what Fletchers, Coopers, and Boyers did in the old days). The metaphor may well be the only thing that survives. And it is our responsibility to document it. That's why there is a FAQ... ...and besides, it's fun.
I discovered a new VCM! What should I do?	Try to remain calm. Check the list below, and if it is not a duplicate, send it to me (vcm at gvass dot demon dot co dot uk). Depending upon my mood at the moment, and the relative quality of your submission, you may or may not receive an acknowledgment.
Is the name of this FAQ wrong?	Yes. Strictly speaking, this FAQ is a collection of similes, not metaphors. The FAQ was mis-named "Vulgar Comparative Metaphors" about 15 years ago and has kept that name through all of its various incarnations and renditions.
What differentiates a VCM from other similes and metaphors?	A VCM has the same structure as a any comparative simile. The tenor of a VCM, however, is crude (ribald, lewd, or obscene), not suitable for mixed company.
What about the witch's tit?	Inexplicably, the VCM, "colder than a witch's tit", endures year after year as the most popular VCM. Although there is assonance, "witch's tit" and meter, it is not particularly ribald, and there is nothing about a witch's tit that intrinsically relates to the tenor of coldness. I spent some time with this VCM tracing its origin. The OED dates the senior reference at 1932. Literary references before this date are barren. Some "close, but no cigar" citations are ... "...Her locks were yellow as gold: Her skin was white as leprosy, the Night-mare LIFE-IN-DEATH was she, who thick's man's blood with cold..." (Coleridge, TROTAM) "...On her left breast A mole cinque-spotted, like the crimson drops I' the bottom of a cowslip..." (Shakespeare, Cymbeline) As far as paintings go, there is "Witches' Sabbath" by David Teniers, which shows witches dancing on a cold night. Not much support there. The suggestion that the phrase might be of Cockney origin leaves the question, what does "witch's tit" rhyme with? In Northern Holland, there is the proverbial expression, "When it rains and the sun shines, the witches are baking pancakes". On balance, the literary and proverbial evidence for "witch's tit" is thin on the ground. I brought the question before Usenet, and a collection of views and opinions is given at the bottom of this FAQ. Again, I would like to thank the contributors.
What about metaphors with racial/ethnic content?	There are myriads of similes containing racial or ethnic slurs: "...a nigger's checkbook...", "...a Chinese fire drill...", "...a Mexican wedding...", and so on. These similes surrender a critical distinction between racism and vulgarity. The definition above says "ribald, lewd, or obscene; and those qualities are not present in "...father's day in niggertown..." and the like. I find them humorless, unimaginative, and repugnant.
What is the oldest recorded VCM?	"Deeper than hell's kettles..." from the 18th century appears to be the oldest documented VCM. "Hotter than Hell's pavement" appeared in the 1840's. These must have been quite racy in those days.
Are there any VCMs of literary distinction?	J. D. Salinger's Holden Caulfield in the immortal Catcher in the Rye, gives us, "...about as sensitive as a goddamn toilet seat". Thanks to Marty Kent of atj for this one. Perhaps in the 1999 FAQ, contributors will be inspired to send in more of these.
Are there any VCM malapropisms?	Every year a smattering of these show up. This year produced a disturbing number of contributions along the lines of "colder than a witch's brassiere", "colder than a witch's brass bra", "colder than a nun's fanny", and "colder than a witch's cunt". While these contributors may be off the mark, they provide an invaluable glimpse into the evolutionary processes at work in our language. There were also contributions from all four corners of the globe like, "colder than a monkey's balls", "colder than brass balls on a monkey". These are derived from "freeze the balls off a brass monkey". More about the brass monkey below. The "nun's cunt", traditionally associated with "colder than", has gained versatility! This year it appeared as the tenor for "sweating like", "dryer than", "tighter than", and "more nervous than". The most interesting malapropism was (heaven help us) "longer than a donger's ears". Clearly, this is a corruption of the British, "not since donkey's years", which itself is a playful corruption of "donkey's ears". "Donger", by the way, is Roo slang for "penis". The forces of alliteration and assonance are work here. This simile shows promise; and considering its source (Australia), there will soon be a delightful VCM making its debut - leaving future linguists utterly bewildered about its etymology. More about the Aussies below...
What about the "brass monkey"?	"...cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey..." While figurative, this expression is not a comparative simile or metaphor, and therefore not within the scope of this FAQ. The number of submissions mentioning a brass monkey, however, demands some treatment here. There are a number of theories about the elusive "brass monkey", perhaps the most popular is that a monkey was a device for holding cannon balls on the British ships of the line (i.e., warships capable of a deep-water engagement). The theory goes that severe cold would cause the brass to contract and to release the cannon balls. This can be debunked by getting some physicists together to compute some coefficients of expansion and contraction. However, let's debunk this theory with some common sense. First there was the Admiralty that commissioned the ships, then there were the engineers and naval architects that designed the ships, built them, and fit them out. Then there were the ordinance and weapons specialists who armed the ships. When the ship was ready, officers and crew were assigned and the ship was deployed. An officer of the line was generally a hardened veteran and pretty damned familiar with how things worked on the high seas. Does it make sense for these chaps to say, "I say, it's getting cold. Perhaps we should remove the cannon balls from the brass monkey and put them somewhere else. Then we can save ourselves the trouble of chasing them around the deck." What naval officer would sail into inclement weather with a piece of gear that was going to fail and possibly damage the ship? In other words, the theory about the cannon balls is crap.
Why do the Aussies hold a monopoly on "Dryer than"?	I don't know. For whatever reason, climate, geography, etc, the Roo's have got "dryer than" locked up.
What about VCMs based upon sexual orientation?	"More confusion than a group of blind lesbians at a fish market", "happier than a queer at a dick picnic", and of course, "happier than a one-legged lesbian on a pogo stick". These are ribald, indecent, vulgar, and draw a complete image without stereotyped references. But they are more topical than comparative, and in general, VCMs using homosexuality as the vehicle do not work.
Which is colder, a "witch's tit", a "nun's cunt", or a "well-digger's ass"?	Dr. Reinhold Aman, editor of Maledicta, ranks them (coldest first) as: [1] colder than a well-diggers ass in the Klondike; [2] colder than a witch's tit; and [3] colder than a nun's cunt. Note that Rey adds the Klondike qualifier and points out that this is the true simile. In the absence of the Klondike qualifier, I offer the following logic: A well-digger is a living human, and therefore subject to the physical laws governing organic matter. A witch is mythical and therefore exempt from physics. The witch wins this round on physics. As demotics, however, they are both equally cold.
Enough of this drivel! Where are they?	The 1998 list is given below.

Vulgar Comparative Metaphors, 1998
Baggier than	Two puppies fighting in a paper sack
Bigger than	A baboon's balls on his birthday (?)
Busier than	A one-legged man in an ass kicking contest A kangaroo shagging a space hopper (Aussie) A shit-house rat in heat A Norfolk whore on payday (regional US) A four peckered goat in mating season? A one-armed paper hanger with crabs. A three-legged cat trying to bury shit on a frozen pond.
Colder than	A witch's tit (see the Appendix below). A witch's steel bra on the dark side of an iceberg. A nun's cunt. A well-digger's ass. The dark side of a newt's ass in a nunnery. A two-cunted clam pissing on an iceberg. A raped ape in his way to the cunt shop (!?) (Aussie).
Deeper than	Hell's kettles (regional UK). Whale shit (also "lower than").
Dryer than	A dead dingo's donger (Aussie). A pommy towel (?) (Aussie). A nun's nasty (Aussie).
Dumber than	A clam's cunt (also sarcastic: He's as clever as a clam's cunt).
Faster than	A runaway cunt. Shit through a goose.
Fatter than	Appetizers at the cunt cafe (?) (Aussie).
Funnier than	A turd in the punchbowl (sarcastic). A fart in a lung machine.
Happier than	A pig in shit. A dick in a cunt shop (also harder than...). A one legged lesbian on a pogo stick.
Hornier than	A three-balled tom cat. A rooster in an empty hen house.
Hotter than	Hell's pavement. A duck's ass in a pepper patch [on the 4th of July]. A fresh-fucked fox in a forest fire (also half-fucked fox). Two rats fucking in a wool sock. A popcorn fart.
Longer than	The queue at the cunt matinee (Scotland).
Lower than	Whale shit.
More nervous than	A whore in church. Also ...sweatin' like a french whore on quarter day...
Older than	Day old piss (Canadian).
Quicker than	The wind from a duck's ass.
Raining harder than	A double cunted cow pissing off a cliff through a screen door [on to a flat rock].
Shinier than	A spanked baby's ass.
Slicker than	Two eels fucking in a bucket of snot. Snot on a doorknob. Minnows in cum. Greased string in a cat's ass. Hot snot on a glass doorknob.
Slipperier than	? No contributions for this tenor.
Slower than	Shit rolling uphill.
Smaller than	The tits on a rattlesnake.
Smoother than	Mink shit on a mirror.
Softer than	Shit in a sneaker (= "trainer" in the UK).
Stickier than	A grizzly bear in heat. The Billy Mills Roundabout (Regional UK?? Etymology unknown) Note: I am still concerned about this entry and include it here only as a curiosity.
Stronger than	Day-old horse piss with the foam farted off twice.
Tighter than	A frog's ass. A gnat's ass. A fish's arsehole (Brit. also arsehold?).
Uglier than	A hat full of busted arseholes (Scottish).
Useless as	Tits on a bull (on a boar hog). A football bat. A hind tit. Tits on a fish. A crocheted condom. A zipper on a day-old turd.
Weaker than	Yesterday's cunt soup.
Whiter than	A weasel's willy.

On the etymology of "colder than a witch's tit".
Phillip Rodrigues (alt.folklore.urban)	Tit is indeed used as the word "curse" It was the belief of those times that when a witch cast a curse on you the victim would feel a cold hand grabbing its heart. As such. Cold as a witche's curse -> Cold as a witch tit.
Mrs Bill (alt.folklore.urban)	Did you look into its connection with the reputed iciness of the devil's member during intercourse (with witches, natch)? That added to the witches' alleged suckling of demons? Just a thought, probably wrong. :)
Robert Sykes (OED Research Materials)	Thank you for your most interesting email. Your FAQ sounds like a fascinating project, and I am sure we would be grateful to receive a copy of it. As to your query, I'm afraid that at this stage I am unable to offer any help beyond the evidence offered by OED2. As regards the geographical origin of the phrase in English, all that I can say is that OED's first and last quotations are from American sources. Of course the apparent Englishness of the intervening example (Times) may also conceal a transatlantic origin. The two further examples we have in our on-line files are N. American too. This chimes in with my own subjective feeling that the phrase is not British and doesn't sound especially familiar - I can only recall ever having encountered it before in an American novel. Concerning the actual etymology: while some of your suggestions are intriguing, I don't really see that the literal meaning is so unlikely - it seems a ribaldly expressive phrase in its own terms. Whether there was, at the time of widespread belief in witchcraft, a tradition that witches could be told by their ice-cold breasts, alas I do not know. It seems possible, and I dare say one could find out, at the price of considerable research. But in any case, inasmuch as it seems like the sort of thing that *might* once have been believed, I would have thought the phrase is at least as likely to have originated in 19th- or 20th-century waggery as amid the paranoia of Puritan Massachusetts or wherever.
"jpguy" (alt.folklore.urban)	Sorry not to be as scholarly, but I seem to recall from my college folklore class that a "witche's tit" is an additional nipple, not necessarily on a breast, and is an indicator of witchhood. I don't know why it is cold..
Tim Hollebeek (alt.folklore.urban)	It sounds reasonable, until you realize that "tit" meaning "breast" is a rather recent phenomenon, dating back only to the 20's or so (cite: OED). 'tit' has quite a number of much, much older meanings (read: many c. 1500s), many being quite archaic. Consult your friendly neighborhood dictionary.
Jesse Sheidlower (Project Editor, Random House Historical Dictionary of American Slang	I read with interest your posting on the expression "cold as a witch's tit" on AFU, and I was wondering if I can ask you for your 1932 citation. Though I am sure the expression is much older, I have been unable to find any American examples before World War II, and this 1932 reference would be quite valuable. I've always assumed that the phrase had something to do with the widely held folkloric belief that witches have an extra nipple, but have no direct evidence for this. It would probably be hard to support without significantly earlier evidence.
Emily Gard (alt.quotations)	[re: an OED citation of an earlier definition of 'tit', meaning curse] May I suggest that curse is relevant as witches are known to curse and such a curse is likely to be cold.
Donna Richoux (alt.usage.english)	Oh, yeah, as if witches and breastfeeding were really common topics of conversation among 20th century construction workers. C'mon, you guys, this one is probably as old as the hills. Witch is old woman, and tit is teat, and it means it's been many years, if ever, since an old woman used her teats to give nourishment to babies. Her tits have (theoretically) gone cold from disuse. I do not find any references in dictionaries or slang dictionaries to "cold as a witch's tit," but that is not surprising, as phrases that are that long, and made up of ordinary words to boot, -- besides sounding somewhat obscene -- are not usually recorded. The Random House Historical Dictionary of American Slang has only published from A to O, and "cold" turns up nothing. Searching on Altavista turns up 50 uses of "witch's tit," but only the useful etymological information I see is that it is called an old Southern expression and an old Army expression.
"The Colonel" (alt.quotations)	A related and equally colorful expression: Colder than a witches tit in a brass bra. This is from Pynchon's _Gravity's Rainbow:_ It's . . . Colder than the nipple on a witch's tit! Colder than a bucket of penguin shit! Colder than the hairs of a polar bear's ass! Colder than the frost on a champagne glass!
Bob Lieblich (alt.usage.english)	At the risk of telling you something you already know but didn't post, Garry, the word began life as "teat" but until recently was pronounced "tit." Then people began spelling it "tit," and "teat" started being pronounced to rhyme with "heat." The opportunities for confusion are obvious.  Before Robert Heinlein went irretrievably around the bend he wrote a little essay on this topic that he included in one of the last novels of his that I could manage to read. He was careful in that book, and perhaps others, to spell the word "teat" and emphasize that it was pronounced "tit." A check of the dictionary confirmed that he was right. Of course, that was about 30 years ago, and God knows what the right usage is now, or even whether there is one. Aren't witches sometimes thought to be bloodless supernatural creatures? If so, the simile would flow logically from that.
Simon Slavin (alt.folklore.urban)	'tit' here is the short spelling of 'teat'. It's a perfectly decent alternate spelling which is rude only by association. The word is used to refer either to just the nipple or to one entire breast. Theoretically the word is just as applicable to a man's nipple or breast as to a woman's. There's a genetically-linked condition in humans which can lead to the development of a 'nubbin' -- a third nipple. This nipple is often called a 'witch's tit'. Folk etymology leads me to believe that this is because the third nipple might have been used to suckle a witch's 'familiar'. The condition is, if memory serves, more familiar in males than in females so God probably had a good laugh over increasing the erogenous area of the wrong sex. I don't recall any cases where any female had a third nipple which was well-enough developed to be functional, so a witch's tit is always 'cold' -- i.e. no milk. Come to think of it, I've never seen any evidence of any female who had three nipples, so a witch's tit might always be on a man and we're back to last month's thread on male lactation. Alternate explanation: witches were perceived to be creepy women who had made contracts with the devil. Maybe some people thought they were cold-blooded which means that a witch's tit would be cold. Does anyone know anything about the common perception of the physiology of witches ? There was two possible explanations. Anyone know the truth ? ObThreadDrift: I've seen a photo somewhere of a man who had the complete set of nipples -- I think it was four rows of two -- available to mammals. The siting of his nipples reveals that the ones which survive in Anthropoids are, in fact, the second row. For some reason I had Assumed that they were the top row.
Don Whittington (alt.folklore.urban)	It sounds reasonable, until you realize that "tit" meaning "breast" is a rather recent phenomenon, dating back only to the 20's or so (cite: OED). Sounds reasonable unless you consider "tit" a variant of "teat" meaning nipple and then it goes back only as far as 950AD (cite: OED). If Occams razor is still sharp, then it seems a more likely etymology of the phrase would center on the fact that witches sabbaths were supposed to be held in the nude. It being all cold and such in witch country, that might make for those diamond hard nips the romance writers are so fond of. Other possibilities may be suggested by the fact witches were supposed to have an "extra nipple", or as a previous poster suggested, cold in the sense that witches were so damned mean. Don "colder than a well diggers ass" Whittington
Andrew McMichael (alt.folklore.urban)	Not to be picky, but do you have a citation for this one? The explanation I'd always heard was that normally, the symbolism of a breast was that of warmth, life-giving, and nurturing. A witch's tit would be the opposite of all of this--hence "cold." So "cold as a witch's tit" meant something that was temperature-cold in the same way that a wicth's tit was life-cold (if that's the word for it). I have no cites whatsoever for this. Andrew "lukewarm as a flaccid baloon" McMichael
GrapeApe (alt.folklore.urban)	I always attributed the phrase to the probable fact that those branded as witches by their society were probably seen emotionally cold frigid people before such suspicions ever took place. If they had been a little bit sluttier or flattering to the local Mayor or Judge they wouldn't have been so persecuted and ostracized.
Chuck Rothman (alt.folklore.urban)	Don't know if this is the absolute truth, but witches traditionally performed their rites in the nude - even in winter. That's certainly the simplest explanation why a witch's tit (either the usual pair, or any extra) would be cold. An extra nipple was considered a sign of witchcraft, but a wart in the wrong place would be considered an extra nipple. It did not have to be functioning, or, indeed, on the breast.
Gary Williams (alt.usage.english)	My favorite reference source, "something I think I remember reading somewhere," has it that a third breast (more likely a vestigial superfluous nipple) was considered a mark of one who was a witch.
"Kasterman" (alt.usage.english)	Wasn't Anne Bolelyn (excuse the spelling) accused of having been a witch for that reason and for having an extra finger? Or is that just a myth?
Chuck Rothman (alt.folklore.urban)	A garbled version of the truth. Boleyn did have an extra (nonfunctioning) finger fused to one of her pinkies. There were rumors that she also had a nipple-like growth on her breast that, back then, would have been called a "third breast." However, she was never actually accused of witchcraft; Henry had her executed for treason. There is some evidence he was planning to use witchcraft if she beat the treason rap.
Joe Bay (alt.folklore.urban)	Right, but "teat" (pronounced "tit", I think) has been around since at least the 13th century, and has roots in Mittelhochdeutsch and/or Olde Englishe. And it meant a nipple. I think the Juliet's nurse says that Juliet "must have sucked some wisdom from my teat". So, there you go. Perhaps this is only confusing matters, but according to some (non urban) folklore, witches were said to have a third nipple through witch^Wwhich their familiar drew nourishment, possibly in the form of blood. I don't recall if it was supposed to be cold. Joe "Maybe they ate frogurt" Bay
Tim Hollebeek (alt.folklore.urban)	The point is that there is a certain tendency for parts of the population to make lewd inferences based on originally innocent phrases, and it is my opinion that is what is happening here (especially with the "brass bra" addition). 'tit' <-> 'teat' does have some merit as an alternative possibility, but I must say 'tit' <-> 'curse' sounds much more likely to me. Of course, that doesn't stop some people from claiming the other side "made it up" and then making an ad hominem attack based on email addresses, of all things.